We see what we want to see.

gabrieldantecostelloe:

Have you ever said a word so many times in your head that you forget what it means, forget how it sounds and slowly forget the word itself?

You’re never there anymore when i need you the most.

I miss you.

Last night was awful, me and josh had a horrid row because i tried stopping him battering one of his friends.

He continued to try and shove joe with me inbetween them.

It escalated and josh ran out the house breaking stuff.

It was grim.

But i love him.
And i must accept his flaws.

I’ve never seen his temper before, but he was beyond the meaning of drunk, and he had warned me, and i’d been told, but it was still horrid.

Don’t get me wrong he’d never touch me, i know he wouldn’t.
Never in a million years.
It just shit me up.

And because he blew up at me i feel raw.

I’m hurt.

The things he said hurt.

But i don’t want to lose him and i need your help, advice and hugs.
But where are you?

I am in love with him.
But i love you.

I need my chum back :C

captaincrotch:

you must die, i alone am best

i love this song.

Well hello c:

The last two weeks have been so so so SO good.
Not been so consistently happy in such a long time c:

Made up with so many people, realised so many things, grown up. 

I no longer feel the urge to smoke cigarettes.
I no longer feel the urge to smoke weed.
I no longer feel the urge to self harm in any shape or form.

I am happy.

And i have realised… i mean something to people.
Maybe not a lot of people.
But enough.
Plenty.

And this makes me happy.

And maybe i can make a good impact, on just one of their lives?

Or someones life i may connect with in years to come? 

Maybe i can make a change and help someone, someone i am yet to know, yet to see, to feel, to touch, to smell.

To make smile.

I can’t believe how much happier and fulfilled I’ve felt lately, it’s unreal, but i’m loving and cherishing every second.
I think it’s maybe because I’ve tried having a more positive outlook on life? And to sort out ‘beef’ with people? Just staying away from drama? Whatever it is, it’s worked. 

Still working.

I hope it doesn’t break down soon.

‘Cause i wont have a clue how to get it running again, but no doubt my friends will help me.

My friends… It’s so weird.
I feel like I’ve lost so many since school, but the good thing is… i know i have greater friends than ever before.
My true friends have stayed around and made the effort with me, and for this i will be forever grateful. 
We may be a little distant, but i understand we have greater responsibilities now than in school, and i respect them for sticking to these responsibilities and not going off the rails as so many others have done. 

I love my friends, each and every one of them.
I just hope they realise that and never feel that they’re worth any less than they are. 

i really do love fadlan

Stay true to you.

I don’t have ugly friends, all my friends are beautiful.
I don’t like ugly people, they irritate me.
Now don’t get me wrong i aint being a vain, ignorant bitch here…

I mean, all my friends are beautiful to me, it may be physically, their personality, their laugh, the cute way they eat their sandwiches, the jokes they make day in and day out or just because they’re there for me.

I’m not friends with ugly people.
Ugly people are horrid, spiteful, selfish and always looking for more.
They may be beautiful on the outside, but who they are makes them ugly to me.
And irritates me.
Therefore i shall never be their friend and in turn they shall never be mine.


However, i would never expect anyone to change, for anybody, ever.

Stay true to who you are, someone out there will see how beautiful you are, even if you don’t.